.50 Cal Hails and Nuclear Metal Greetings…

      So, this is my first post on my very first blog… Please bear with me because I have no idea how the Hell this shit works! I hope that I can get it figured out because, I have a ton of shit I want to share with the world!

      First off, you’re probably wondering just who the Hell I am and why the Hell should you pay any attention to a thing I say!  I am SPC Christopher Bohne’, a US Army soldier stationed in Bamberg, Germany.  I have been in the Army 6 years and am a Veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom 06-08.  I suffered an injury known as “chronic exertional compartment syndrome” and have been in and out of a wheelchair since last July.  I have been placed in a special unit for wounded soldiers and have found myself with quite a bit of extra time on my hands. 

     Some people may better know me as Wolven Joker Lokison… a fixture in the metal underground throughout the 1990’s.  You see, before my days in the Army, I was a writer and publicist specializing in Extreme Heavy Music.  In 1993/94 I published one issue of what was one of the first Black Metal fanzines in the scene, “Goats of Pandemonium”.  Soon after I unleashed the zine, I received interest from several different magazines and labels wanting to know if I would be interested in working with them.  I ended up at Relapse Records in their mailorder department where my long strange trip began.  I would go on to write for Pit Magazine and several others, as well as being the director of publicity and sales at the now defunct Necropolis Records.  Afterwards, I was the figurehead and primary contact for the ill-fated Don’t Panik! PR, where I worked albums for 18 different  labels.  Unfortunately, the managing partner slammed the door on the business before we could completely realize our full potential  in the world of metal, as she feared my moving on to bigger and better things behind her back.  This is kind of a quick walkthrough of my background.  Trust me when I say that it was a very colorful and exciting time that I often wish I could relive.  Some people wonder why I got out of the business in the first place.  I often tell them that the main reason was because it is a pretty cut throat biz.  Bands get screwed and backs get stabbed.  The paranoia of my financer at Don’t Panik! PR ruined a great business, as well as hurting my reputation in the scene and the wallets of several great small labels that believed in us.  This was a heartbreaking deal that I felt a lot of responsibilty for, so I felt it was time to walk away. 

     Recently, with my impending departure from the military for medical reasons, my amazing wife, Jasmin,  has been nudging me back towards the Metal realm.  She has even suggested that I start a label/distro.  Only time will tell, but for now I will bring you GOATS OF PANDEMONIUM: The Metal Blog!  I will focus on reviews of new Cds & Vinyl, or older stuff that might have been over looked, but also you may find reviews of DVDs, gigs (to include tour and festival dates), video games, and other shit that metallers might find interesting.  Who knows, maybe I’ll get inspired and break out an interview or two?  I am still in touch with some amazing folks in Metal.  Of course, I will make sure to include web addresses so you can find this material to enjoy for yourself.  I really want people to patronize the distros/labels that have been supporting the scene with all their lives.  If you are a band without a label, get in touch and I will do my damndest to help promote you with reviews and links.  I want to make it clear that everything I review will either be promotional copies or items I purchased myself.  I abhor piracy!  Working in the music business, I saw how little the bands make, as well as how a lot of labels suffer financially to produce the music you enjoy.  Ain’t nobody gettin’ on ”Cribs” in the metal music biz, kids!   Hell, I might even review coffee!  It’s my fucking blog and I’ll do whatever I want!! Haha!!

     What have I been up to lately?  Lots of physical therapy! Other than that, I have done a  bit of work within the metal community.  You can find my vocals on the intro to the German Black Metal band MORT’s “The Denial of Christ” album.  I wrote the lyrics to the song “Dawn of the Black Apocalypse” featured on the upcoming album from the reunited German Black Metal legends, UNGOD.  I have also written some English copy for my buddy CO-PILOT’s PESTILENCE RECORDS website (www.pestilence-records.de), where you European Metallers can find a reasonably priced selection of hard to find metal.   I also hope that we can finish work on the debut full-length release from MAGGOT COFFIN, which is a GorePornSplatterGrind project between myself and MORT’s main man, KVALTAR.  I am also trying to assemble tracks for my own War Metal project, BLEED FOR THY SINS ( the groups name is an homage to my deceased cousin JEFF ELROD (T’CHORT), who was the founder/frontman of one of America’s first Black Metal bands, the legendary MASOCHIST (their only official CD release, “History” can be purchased from MORIBUND RECORDS (www.moribundcult.com)… you will be fucking amazed!). Unfortunately, my recording resources are lacking.  Anyone have software suggestions?

   So, for now, I shall depart.  Stay tuned for updated content on a regular basis!  Follow me on Twitter: @Vikingfist or e-mail me: vikingfist@yahoo.com !

LAY DOWN YOUR SOULS TO THE GODS OF ROCK AND ROLL…

Wolven Joker Lokison

~ by vikingfist on April 30, 2009.